These
are the marketing tips and tricks that made him crazy rich.
What is he thinking?
Who Cares! Take advantage of it before he regains his senses!
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From the desk of: Crazy Rich Guy
Feb 28, 2007
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
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Why
would I share my secrets?
As I write this letter I'm lounging around in my cashmere robe and
slippers, having just unscrewed my fat ass from the Jaccuzi. I have
an exotic bird named Poultry sitting on my right shoulder and a
fine illegal Cuban gripped between my lips. Directly in front of
me sits my usual Tahiti cocktail nightcap with one of my custom
printed umbrellas in it. The umbrella says, "Be Somebody!".
I've been marketing information online for almost 10 years and I'm
damn good at it. So why would I want to share my secrets with you?
Am I crazy?
I guess
that depends who you ask.
Here's
the situation... I've come up with a lot of unusual marketing techniques
over the years and for the most part I've kept them to myself. I'm
sure you've seen these other jokers online who call themselves marketing
gurus and brag about how much money they make.
Did you ever think, "If they're so rich and successful, why
are they still doing this?". Of course you have. Why aren't
they sitting in their Jacuzzi smoking illegal Cubans like the Crazy
Rich Guy?
It's
because they're liars!
These guys show you pictures of them leaning on a Ferrari, in front
of some big house. Guess what? The Ferrari is a rental and the house
belongs to somebody else! Anyone can take a BS picture like that.
I'm not going to bother posing for pictures sitting on the hood
of my car and I'm sure as hell not going to show you where I live.
You want some proof that I'm crazy rich?
No
problem...
If
I'm not rich, explain THAT!
I'll bet you'd like to be able to swim in a pool that big... nudge
nudge wink wink.
But I digress. The question was why would I share the very secrets
that have made me so crazy rich. It's got to do with these lying
bastards I'm telling you about.
A few years some of my computer was hacked into and some of my secrets
were stolen. I can't prove it, but I know of at least 2 of these
"gurus" who are currently making a KILLING on the
internet using MY secret techniques.
Since I can't prove it, I've been told there's nothinig I can do
about it.
At least that's what I thought for the last few years.
But recently I realized there IS something I can do to piss on these
losers parade...
I'm going to SHARE THESE SECRETS WITH YOU for DIRT CHEAP!
These "gurus" are going to be hopping mad because now
it's just a matter of time before you start taking some of what
they've been getting. Think of me as a big fat Robin Hood who's
going to distribute some of the wealth. It's as if I'm taking those
dollars right out of their pockets and putting them into yours...
AND I LOVE IT!
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"You crazy rich bastard... What
do you think you're doing?"
- Anonymous Theiving Internet Marketing Guru
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I'm
putting the finishing touches on the package right now. When it's
finished it will be available to a limited number of lucky individuals.
Give me your name and email address so I can notify you as soon
as it's ready. This just might sell out before it has a chance to
reach the website!
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Crazy
Rich Guy Spills Guts!
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& CONFIDENTIAL
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